The Number 1 thing standing between you and an exhale of relief

The Number 1 thing standing between you and an exhale of relief

A decade ago when Bullet Journaling first became a thing (IYKYK), I was struck by one thing after going down a complete blog/Pinterest/FB group rabbit hole. EVERY thread was full of women commenting about how they want to start, but they're scared of making a mistake. They had the journal, all the supplies, pens, stickers, and washi tape they could ever possibly want, and yet their notebooks remained blank.

People wailed about ripping out pages because they misspelled a word. They came up with creative solutions for gluing pages together so mistakes were hidden. They practiced layouts in "practice journals" until they had it just right and obsessed over their handwriting.

Now, I love a good journal as much as the next planner aficionado and have I spent over $100 on a fountain pen? Yes. Yes, I have. But all I could think as I scrolled inside this vortex of other people's thoughts was...

Wow. You're making this way harder than it needs to be.

Now, at the risk of you responding like I do when my husband has unwisely dared to utter these words...hang with me here, while I help you see the connection between bullet journaling and pretty much anything else.

We live in a society that shouts at us constantly about "shoulds" and ideals, don't we? If you scroll ANY social media for a hot second, hell pick up any magazine ever created, you'll see examples of what others think you should be doing, eating, thinking, wearing, etc. etc.

In the realm of spirituality and metaphysical topics, I get asked all the time about how someone should use a crystal or meditate or do Reiki or manifest their dream life. Clients come to me paralyzed with fear over screwing up and getting something wrong. This fear keeps them from the support of these practices and so they stay stuck.

If you take nothing else from this blog, hear me now:

Whatever your practice is - be it crystals, meditation, tarot, bullet-journaling, or what-have-you - it is a TOOL meant to help you make your life better. If the tool is causing you stress, then you've listened to someone other than your highest self and you're making it harder than it needs to be.

Some of these "shoulds," these over-complications, show up as myths or doctrine, depending on how large an organization is behind the story of what you should be doing. Let's take a look at couple myths around crystals and meditation and how you can uncomplicate working with any of them.

Crystal "Should": If anyone ever touches your crystals their energy is ruined and you need to cleanse them.

Bah. Now if your toddler smears peanut butter on your Fire Quartz, then yeah. It's dirty and you should wipe that off. But your friend picking up your Flower Agate palm stone and exclaiming, "This is so pretty! What is it?" is not going to ruin the vibe of your crystal. I believe that crystals, based on their inherent structure, are always doing what they are meant to do - which is supporting the Highest Good of ALL those around them.

Even if your naysaying cousin picks one up and says, "You know these are all just rocks, right? There's nothing special about them." Guess what? That crystal in his hand just supported your cousin's best interests EVEN IF he never believes crystals are more than just rocks. And when he puts it back down and moves on, that crystal is still ready to work for you.

The key here is in trusting your crystal and your own intuition while working with it. If you pick it up and your first thought is of your dipshit cousin, cleansing your crystal is as simple as closing your eyes and saying to yourself, "This crystal is free from any and all negative influences and attachments and is ready to serve my Highest Good." You can visualize threads of energy attached to the crystal being snipped and falling to ashes as you say it.

There. Done. 10 seconds and you're back in business. But remember, that's ONLY if you get the yick when you pick it up. If you grab it after someone else has and it feels fine to you - guess what? It IS fine. Trust your gut. Simple works.

Meditation "Should": You need a perfectly styled "zen den" or completely peaceful environment in order to meditate.

Meditation is a tool we can use to reclaim our peace and stay calm during stressful situations, right?

So let me ask you this: If meditation is something we want to be able to use during our day to day situations, where should we practice meditating? In a normal situation, right?

So which is more normal for you? Sitting in the "Meditation Room" at the Four Seasons Spa? Or on the couch with crumbs on the coffee table, your dog happily chomping on a squeaky toy, and a pile of breakfast dishes on the counter?

I know which one happens more often in my life! I love me a good visit to the spa, but my meditations happen with Nerf darts flying, dust bunnies in the corner, and in 5-10 minutes.

If you're waiting for the house to be perfectly quiet and clean, you're missing the point. You're making it more complicated than it needs to be.

These are just a few examples of ways we get in our own heads about how something "should" happen, which defeats the purpose of even having a tool around. Just because they're spiritual tools, doesn't mean it needs to be more complicated than using a screwdriver or a saw is.

If the rules someone has given you is impacting your ability to access the benefits of a practice, ask yourself if you different rules would serve you better. Can you make it easier? Can you make it shorter? Can you skip the part that adds stress? Can you trust that your intuition and these practices are always working for your Highest Good and therefore relax your need to achieve SOMEONE ELSE'S VERSION OF PERFECTION?

Good! Do that then!

Trust yourself and make it simple, babe. You got this.

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It’s refreshing to hear this from someone else. My inner voice gets drowned out too easily by all the “Right way to do things” voices outside.


This was such a wonderful message that I needed today (and every day)! I love the shift to the idea that crystals (and mediation and yoga and…) are tools to support ME. Thanks, Rebe!


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